The reason behind the blog...

For those of you who know me, you know that his had been one of the more difficult years of my life. I thought I would create this blog to share a little bit more information about what my thoughts and feelings are, and what they've been, over the past six months. I'll also try to keep updating as new things happen in the Finkbeiner family.


In this first post, I thought I'd share an overview of our story over the past six months, and what lead me to start writing on here.


On February 8th I went in for my routine ultrasound at 22 weeks pregnant. Up until this point I had been having what seemed like a very normal pregnancy. All the appointments I'd had up until this point had pointed to me having a health baby. At the time of the ultrasound, the ultrasound tech found a large septated cystic hygroma with fetal hydrops. I'm an RN and I'd never heard of this before. All the midwife could tell me was that there was a 100% fatality rate for the severity of my baby's condition and referred me to a specialist and genetic counselor the next day to confirm what she'd seen. We went to the second ultrasound the next day and the specialist confirmed the same thing. They were surprised with the severity that I'd even made it to 22 weeks. They gave me the option of having an amniocentisis done to see if there was a chromosomal abnormality, but I opted not to, due to the fact that my there was no amniotic fluid and they would have had to draw fluid off of the actual cyst, which may be painful to the baby.
My husband and I went home that day with extremely heavy hearts and didn't know what to do. They had give us our options of waiting or terminating. My first reaction was to deliever right away because I didn't want to have to answer the normal questions from strangers about when I was due, what was I having, how far along was I, etc. But after taking several days to pray about it,k we decided to wait and see if God was going give us a miracle.
People from our church, our family, friends, and people we didn't even know at the time but found out later were all praying for our baby. It was an incredible experience the out pouring of love and prayers we received! God blessed us with a miracle in all the prayers and love we received, and how many people were brought closer to God through praying for our baby.
At almost 25 weeks, on February 26th, there was no longer a heartbeat. I was induced the next day and and delievered my beautiful baby girl, Hope Catherine, at 0545 on February 28th and held her in my arms for several hours and got pictures and footprints.
For thoses who don't know what choice to make about whether or not to terminate or let nature run it's course, all I can say is that for me, I wouldn't change a thing about my decision. I got to feel Hope move and kick, and heard the heartbeat for three more weeks after her diagnosis. What a blessing! Every kick and every movement was so special. She was 1 lb 12 oz when she was born and holding her and getting footprints have imprinted memories on my heart that I wouldn't trade for anything.
We are trying now for another child and are praying to be blessed with a sibling for our two year old, Holly, who is completely healthy and rambunctious. I hope that this story is helpful for some else who may be dealing with or grieving the same loss or diagnosis.